So, it is nearly a month since I have written any post.
And it is one year one month since I have started civils preparation after quitting my job. Now, what I have done in this last 13 months. Do I look back this entire year with satisfaction knowing that I have improved myself or do I need to do better? What about my preparation, my approach?
First, I can say, I have improved. Our sir told us that this preparation phase would change you. He was right, I couldn't exactly put down how I have changed, but I have changed. I am not talking about the maturity that one attains during the course of an year. Its about the changes in one's perceptions and understandings of his own country. He said one starts to appreciates things better. It really happened with me. Earlier, just like any youth, I was impatient. But now, even though I am not entirely okay with the country's progress or our state of affairs, conditions of poor, I wasn't going crazy about it. Its just knowing how the system works and accepting it, if it couldn't be made any better. Actually, its very difficult to pen down how my thinking or perceptions changed, but I can feel that. Having empathy for people's troubles now, whereas earlier I couldn't care less. Relating to every new development that I read in the newspaper, which in turn gives some feeling of knowing something about everything. You can only feel that feeling, when you know about something, people commenting passionately on the issue, you can involve in, tell your opinions.....Perhaps, it's very difficult to distinguish these subtle but significant differences in one's own personality and it is much more difficult to write them down without sounding like a phony.
